Happy Tarot Tuesday! Let’s talk today about another simple ‘spread’ for self-reflection. I say ‘spread’ loosely this time, as this is technically a single card pull. Despite being small, it’s great for getting to know your deck and heavy on the introspective aspect- which I will always love. For this spread we will again be using the Dreams of Gaia Deck by Ravynn Phelan- but you can use any deck. Today we’re going to be talking about the “Guide Spread”.

The Guide

There is only one card to define in this go around, because well, it’s a single card draw as we’ve said. This card is meant to guide you, help you reflect on something that is prevalent in your life at this time, and can be used to help you reflect on your actions preemptively. Sometimes a guide card may only be relevant for a day. Maybe you happen to pull a card relevant to something that is a larger or more ongoing issue. On a rare occasion a card may need to keep you company for longer than a day.

Performing the Guide Spread

My regular recommendations for tarot apply here: give yourself ample time to complete it and find a quiet space where you can relax and focus. Keep a journal or notebook handy, as well as your guidebook. Find appropriate lighting and light a candle or incense if that helps you relax, same with music/background noise. The point is to intentionally relax and be present in your reflection.

Shuffle. There is no right or wrong way, just shuffle. Stop when it feels right, or your hands get tired. Whatever comes first. Whether you cut your deck or not is up to you.

Before you delve into meanings and reflection, spend some time looking at the artwork, just examining the card. How does its artwork make you feel without immediately knowing what it means?

Review the meaning of the card and take into account if it is upright or reversed/blocked. Reflect on how this may affect your day, if there is something happening that this could help/ hinder with? I find this a good tool to reflect on whatever quality the card is addressing and assess whether I think this is a strength of mine or maybe a weakness I need to pay attention to as I go about my day.

Take your time with this part of the process, as sometimes there are the immediate reactions and the secondary ones after you’ve had a few minutes to think and consider. Don’t judge your reflection as positive or negative. You are simply examining the prompt as it is.

Closing the Reading:

Take a few minutes to write about your experience. This is where we want to be thinking about how this makes us feel. Note that I do not say “where we judge the reading”. That’s not the point, you can feel positively, or negatively, or inspired, or melancholy- whatever it may be; without judging the answer. One is a sensation, the other is a statement. Be careful with this.

Keeping a journal will give you something to look back on, a way to notice trends, and a second round of reflection that is slightly different. Some people (like myself) process differently when we’re writing and the act of moving your hands to reflect things helps anchor the process into linear thoughts when your brain might otherwise be a basket of ferrets on espresso.

The point is that this is between you and yourself. Which means that honest reflection is not only encouraged, but necessary- especially if you can get out of the habit of judging yourself and just letting yourself feel what you feel without commenting on it.

Now you’re ready to go about your day with a reflection excersize done and your mind prepared to be present and take the day as it comes!

We’d love to hear about your experiences with intentional living and I hope you give this a shot.

All the best,

Mikaela

Let’s talk about controlling your emotions, or rather the importance of it. Not everybody’s favorite topic, I know. A lot of us, especially I have found in social circles I overlap with, really dislike the word ‘control’. It brings up a lot of negative connotations. Many of us are looking for liberation, flexibility, freedom of expression, or just freedom. And ‘control’ pretty much sounds like the opposite of that.

I ask that you hear me out.

Usually, we are looking for something because we don’t have it. If you’re looking for freedom, you probably feel oppressed. If you’re looking for flexibility, it’s most likely because you feel stifled or contained. By that same notion, if you don’t have control of your emotions, its likely that they have control of you.

Not controlling your emotions is the birthing ground for anxiety, stress, depression, pessimism and a victim mindset. I frequently find that people in my life that have chronic problems with negative self-talk or a generally negative outlook on life are sitting in the day-to-day quagmire of being steam-rolled by their emotions. It’s like trying to keep your head above water when the water line keeps getting higher.

What I don’t mean

When I stress the importance of controlling emotions, I do not in any way mean to shut down, ignore, or distance yourself from your emotions. I can’t think of anything more detrimental to your health or success than that. Your emotions act as a thermometer and warning system for your body and mind. They tell us a lot about our current state of being. Warning systems are meant to be listened to. However, there is a vast difference between heeding a warning system and allowing it to decide the course of action by which solutions are found.

Think of controlling your emotions like running a ship

Let’s say you’re the Titanic (depressing analogy, I know, but bear with me). You have a transcriber (your nervous system) that is taking in data and messages all day and converting them to electrical impulses that are transmitted around the ship (body) and to other nearby vessels (our social circle). Those messages are a constant mix of good, bad, happy, sad, congratulations, observations, warnings, reviews, feedback, you name it (stimuli for want of a better word). It’s the transcriber’s job to sift through all that data, pass on what needs to be passed on, disregard what’s not important, and process everything so it gets to the right place. Your emotions serve as the messaging system in which that data is conveyed, each one like a little memo to a different part of the ship.

The transcriber shouldn’t be labeling messages as good or bad. You wouldn’t want a secretary changing the subject lines of your emails, would you? Nor would you want a secretary holding on to messages for an undue amount of time and delaying important information either. Not when the information conveyed could be the difference between changing course correctly or sinking in the middle of the Atlantic.

Not learning to control your emotions essentially hands over the keys to the bridge to the guy translating morse code in the closet. He’s great at processing vast amounts of correspondence and information but he knows not the first thing about nautical charts, crow’s nests, or steam engines. He can get you the warnings, but he doesn’t have the experience to decide what to do with them.

Not to bore you with the ship analogy, but that’s what the captain is for. I mean you. Your brain. You have the ability to take those warnings, apply context and previous experiences, and make decisions that are based on rational thought as much as they are influenced by your emotions.

What controlling your emotions means:

When I’m talking about controlling your emotions, I specifically mean not allowing them to make your choices for you. This still requires you to acknowledge them and feel them. Perhaps more so than the average person. You can’t control something you’re not paying attention to.

We’ve all heard that person say “yeah, i’m just in my feelings”, “I’m letting this get to me.”, “I know I shouldn’t stew on this, but I can’t help it.” This is what we want to work on: Feeling our feelings without letting those feelings control our day. That’s where eventually the mindset changes will occur and freedom will follow.

Feeling your Feelings

Remember when I said that I didn’t mean shutting down or distancing yourself from your emotions? Let’s go back to that. The key to controlling your emotions is in making room for them. You have to allow yourself time to process them and make peace with what’s happening in your life. If you do not address your feelings, they fester and begin to bleed through into other areas of your life. Your job is not to judge your feelings, comment on your feelings necessarily, or ascribe positives or negatives to your feelings. Your job is to sit with them in the moment and allow yourself to actually feel them before we ever touch on the matter of figuring out what they are trying to tell us.

The warmth in your chest that is love. The Icy dagger that is sometimes fear. A trip drum in your chest might be anxiety and the hot flush and shaking hands might be anger. Don’t try to rush your body through the process of physically feeling them.

Your challenge

In future talks we’ll go through practices for analyzing emotions and figuring out what our emotions are trying to tell us, as well as tools (like mindfulness and meditation) for how to make space in our day to day lives to reflect on those emotions and what may have influenced them. But for now, your challenge (should you choose to accept it) is to practice acknowledging your feelings on a day to day basis without judging them or analyzing them. and to allow yourself a few moments to really sit in them when they happen.

It doesn’t have to be a big to do or routine- I get it, we’re all busy. This might mean a mental “okay, I’m angry” when you feel it. But there should be no shame in the mental acknowledgment of “I’m angry”. Even more important is to acknowledge the positive ones: “This is Joy” as we often highlight the negatives in our life but don’t hold equal space for the positives. Take a second to pay attention to what that emotion physically feels like in your body. Then you can go about your day. But learning to identify what an emotion feels like is the first step to emotional clarity and control that we’ll be working toward in future talks.

We’d love to hear about your experiences! Remember, you don’t have to be perfect and you’re not going to get it right overnight or all at once.

All the best,

Mikaela