Tag intentionality

It feels like every single year goes a little bit faster. The blinks get closer together. I blinked and it was spring. I blinked and it was midsummer. Another and now not only is it fall, but October is essentially over and Samhain is here. The holidays are approaching at a rate that would alarm even an Olympic sprinter. This year went faster than most of them because I feel like this year for me, has been packed with more monumental or life-altering changes & milestones than many of the recent years combined.

That sense of time speeding by in pockets might make me feel melancholy, but at the same time, this is the gateway to my favorite time of year. The shifting of seasons is always an interesting time, but autumn makes me feel such a specific way that it stands out in my memory every year. It’s something I try to savor.

I’ve tried to describe to several people over the years- and I don’t know if I’ll ever do it in a way that truly conveys the sense of wonder that I feel. Even spending most of my life in Phoenix, Arizona, a place that we jokes has 2 seasons: hot and dry cold; no snow, no changing colors and falling leaves, no spring bulbs. Just prickly trees, greens that still look brown, and pollen such a violent shade of yellow that you know its going to make you sneeze.

Don’t Blink

No matter where I have been in the country, October somehow brings this one specific day. You wake up and the air smells different. It doesn’t matter that 2 days before it was still 92 degrees outside, or the summer flowers were still in full bloom here in Washington. All of a sudden it’s crisp, the air somehow looks cleaner and less dusty; it’s not as heavy. Colors seem brighter, and sunshine looks less oppressive, more blue. All of a sudden there are more people outside in the park; telling you that even if it sounds goofy in a way, other people feel it too. We’re all somehow still running on the same primordial clock. That was always the morning that I knew Summer had said goodbye for the year.

Here in Washington, it’s a much easier thing to describe, because it’s such a visual change- and I treasure it even more. There are big crunchy orange and red leaves on the ground. I wake up to crows between the sleepy trees along the trail outside my apartment. The sunlight is extra sparkly on the mornings it’s out between the growing days of grey clouds and rain. All of a sudden, it smells like mulch and harvest. Its much different than Phoenix, but no less specific of a feeling.

There’s this anticipation in the air. The long hot days are over, and we’re entering a season of rest and closing. Of quiet evenings in warm homes, and soon of louder nights filled with laughter, family, and glittering lights. This is my favorite time of year. It’s the quiet deep breathe before I get to fill my cup with chaos, joy, family, and connection. I get to take quiet time for myself to rest before the big outpouring of myself over the holidays.

Tomorrow is Samhain again already. Given my current contemplative mood, I thought today would be a good day to discuss the history of Samhain and share some easy ways to celebrate at home- if you so choose.

A Festival of Fire:

Not be confused with Halloween, Samhain (pronounced sow-win) was originally a pagan festival celebrated by the Celts. Samhain was the most significant and largest of the Great Feast days and the most important of the four Fire Festivals; traditionally the only day of the year that the Hearth fire was allowed to go out while the final harvest was collected, before being relit as part of the communities celebration after being blessed by the Druids. It was a sacred time. Certain accounts even mention death sentences for people who violated rules or committed violent crimes during this time. Prayers were said, blessings given, cattle were sacrificed, and community bonfires were used to sanctify the Hearth’s for the upcoming year.

A Festival of Souls

Originally it was celebrated as the day that the veil between the physical world and the spirit world was at its thinnest, allowing more interaction with the beings of the otherworld. (Samhain – Celtic Origins, Rituals & Halloween | HISTORY)

Offerings were left outside of doors, villages, and fields for the Sidhe, to protect them and earn goodwill from anything crossing the barrier between worlds. People often wore animal or monster costumes so the fairies would not kidnap them.

During the middle ages, carvings on turnips and pumpkins were used to ward of fairies and other wicked beings. It was during this time that the “Dumb Supper” became a tradition. During which spirits were invited to dine with the family as a way to interact with ancestors and other deceased friends and relatives.

Christian Involvement in Samhain:

Over time, and through the rise of the Christian Church, Samhain traditions became intermingled with other Christian practices. First adapting to “All Saints and Martyrs” in the 5^th Century, and then as “All Hallows Eve”, “All Saints Day”, and “All Souls Day” in the 9^th century by Pope Gregory. Eventually, many of  Samhain’s practices and traditions became synonymous with the modern celebration of Halloween.

“The Farther we’ve gotten from the magic and mystery of our past; the more we’ve come to need Halloween”

Paula Guran

That doesn’t mean that the original spirit of the festival isn’t still there. The growing season is over, the harvest is complete, the long nights are approaching. Now is a good time to reflect on what you have accomplished this year, and settle in for a rest, while blessing and protecting your home for the upcoming dark season.

Celebrating Samhain at home:

Just because most towns are no longer holding massive feasts and community bonfires- does not mean that you cannot acknowledge the significance of this time in the natural world. Samhain is not about devil worship, black magic, or the macabre and grotesque. It’s about harvest and celebrating the role that each season plays. It’s a time to honor those that are gone, with maybe just a smidge of the magical and mystical peaking through the thinning veil for those of us that are superstitious. Below are my favorite ways to have intentionality in savoring this time.

• Take a nature walk: you’ve probably seen me say this in any ‘celebratory’ holiday post. That’s because many of these holidays center around the changing of the seasons, and one of the best ways to experience that and appreciate it is to get out in it. See it, touch it, taste it, smell it. It was particularly easy for me this year, being in a new space with vibrant colors and so much to soak up.
  Make sure you aren’t glued to your phone while you’re out. Look at the leaves, or the clouds, or whatever it may be. Smell the crispness in the air. Let the wind sit on your face and focus on what right now feels like.

• Set up or refresh your altar: Yes there are the stereotypical symbols or Halloween, but so much more can go into the sacred space this season. Symbols have power. Skulls, ghosts, I tend to decorate with my favorite leaves that I’ve picked up on the aforementioned nature walk. allspice berries, broom, catnip, mountain ash berries, mugwort, mullein, oak leaves, acorns, rosemary, sage, pine cones, and straw are also good symbols.
  Taylor tends to merge this a little bit with her appreciation of Dia De Los Muertos. She always puts up pictures of people we loved and lost, with a special focus on any recently significant losses. We light candles for each loved one and spend time talking about them together, honoring their part in our lives.

• Host a Dumb Supper for yourself and your family: This meal is traditionally mostly silent, thus the name. Leave an empty place at your table to honor the deceased. Focus your meal on products of the harvest: dark grain breads, the darkest of summers berries, root vegetables, game meats, cider or wine. On this day the table is a sacred space. Before sitting down to eat, gather everyone for a prayer:

“Tonight we celebrate Samhain. It is the end of the harvest, the last days of summer, and the cold nights wait on the other side for us. The bounty of our labor, the abundance of the harvest, and the success of the hunt all lie before us. We thank the earth for all it has given us this season, and yet we look forward to winter, a time of sacred darkness.”

• Visit a cemetery: I know- this is where I lose some of you, or you think I’m going to tell you to perform seances in disrespectful places. Not so. But this is a time of honoring the dead. Now is a good time to visit graves of loved ones. If I was home, this would be the time I would go to my grandfather’s and grandmother’s memorial; or stop to chat with my Uncle Alois. Its another way to feel close to them and honor their memory. To let them know that I’m still thinking about them.
  Since I can’t be home this year I instead visited a local cemetery.
  There are two where I live, and the old historic one is no longer active and doesn’t get a lot of visitors. I spent some time walking rows and reading names, I can’t help but wonder who they were and what they were like. I like to lay flowers at some of the ones that catch my eye or feel right. I like to think that this way, they aren’t forgotten.
• Reflect: look back on your season of growing. Review Journals, planners, photographs, evidences of your growths this year. Look back on whatever goals you set yourself and assess how you faired. Meditate. When you are done introspecting- write down your thoughts and feelings about your experience.

• Clean and reset your hearth space: homes have certainly changed since everyone had a functional hearth. The concept remains the same. The hearth was the center of the home. A place of nourishment, gathering, and safety. The touchstone that grounded most families. When I did have a fireplace, this was the time I would deep clean it and pull it apart in preparation for winter use. If you don’t have a fireplace, it is still a good time to deep clean your kitchen. Spend some time caring for the space that nourishes you. On a practical note: you’ll thank me when the holidays roll around.
• Bonfires: Samhain was the greatest of the fire festivals. Go outside, light a fire- a firepit will do if a bonfire isn’t an option. Let the smell of woodsmoke seep into your skin and relax you. Let the heat from the fire keep away the growing snap in the air. Spend time welcoming the chillier evenings and long nights. This is a good time to meditate.

• Connect with your community: This might feel harder in the anti-social, demanding, fast-paced world we currently live in. But in times past, Samhain was an important time to connect with your community because everyone relied on everyone during the long winter months. Now is a good time to check in on friends and relatives and make sure they’re okay.
  Find a local organization to help- lots of communities will look for volunteers at this time of year to help with food and shelter for the homeless, or under privileged. There is a need for community now more than ever. Get out of your house- go to a fall festival or a pumpkin patch. Make new connections and friends in your community.

However you choose to celebrate, make sure you do so with intentionality. Focus on the feeling in your heart as this season closes. Take time to rest, recharge and prepare before the glitter and sparkle of the holidays suck us in for another grand finale. Take a minute to make sure your eyes are wide open before you blink and its spring again.

When black cats howl and pumpkins gleam, may luck be yours on Halloween.

Happy Samhain!

Mikaela

Do you feel like the world gets faster every day? Like no matter how quickly you move, or how you habit stack your day you’re just a little bit behind speed, rushing to catch up and get to the next thing on your to-do list? Do you frequently feel like, as happy as you may be, there’s always something right on the edge of your peripheral you’re missing, or missing out on? Do you struggle to stay grounded with all of the multitasking, multi-focusing that society expects everyone to maintain in modern society? 

ME TOO.

I’ve spent a lot of time feeling that way. Even if I enjoyed what I was currently doing or working on, part of my brain was always focused on whatever my next “thing” was. Next idea, next obligation, next appointment.  The constant mental dialogue and running “to-do” list in my head not only led me to be distracted all the time, but anxious and tired. I would miss important details in conversations, zone out, or when looking back on positive experiences, be mad that I couldn’t remember the details as much as I wanted to. 

I get over stimulated easily, and really struggle with anxiety; especially in loud spaces (I recently discovered Loop Earplugs- and they have become my best friends). If you knew me as a child this is 100% ‘a catch 22 meets irony’ moment. Focusing my attention without getting overwhelmed by the sheer volume of stuff (good stuff, bad stuff, exciting stuff, boring stuff, chores, ideas, music lyrics, internal monologue, anything and everything stuff) in my head is a frequent challenge. I struggle to feel grounded and mellow. I do not hold still well, never have (except for when I accidentally zone out standing in front of a bookshelf and don’t move for an hour and a half because I’m staring into space). 

If this is starting to sound a lot like a severe case of ADHD…. Well, surprise, surprise; turns out I do in fact suffer from ADHD. Who knew? BUT this isn’t an ADHD self- diagnoses post. In fact, if you suspect you may have ADHD I cannot urge you enough to seek out a medical expert and get tested instead of schlogging through hours of articles and tiktoks or instagram posts. While there’s nothing wrong with doing your own research, I think it is better to see a specialist.

I avoided getting tested because it seemed too complicated and quite frankly a little part of me was afraid of it. I was afraid of what it indicated, and what feedback I might get from certain people in my family. But that’s a discussion for another day. Having finally decided to get tested at the ripe old age of 27 and get not only an answer, but help for some of the aspects that have been causing me issues, I wish I had done so sooner. Not just for the sake of knowing, but because I am learning that there are so many things I could have made easier for myself sooner, and in some ways I was fighting a battle with myself that I didn’t need too. I’ve been able to out hack my brain in certain areas as a result of learning more about the actual science behind ADHD and what it means in my day to day life. 

And while I am still learning, and still have things I need to work on (like time blindness), I have a better understanding of HOW to set myself up for success and how to help me get what I need. I also have more patience for myself and I’m learning to have a certain amount of grace with myself. It’s taken stress off of me, and by extension, my family. 

Which brings me to my real point. I reencountered something that I have on some level been aware of for most of my young and adult life but never really used or practiced. Now, at a much different point in my life, its been retaught to me and am learning to use as a tool when I get overstimulated, when I panic, when everything is just going too fast. It’s not specific to ADHD. Anybody can practice it and use it. Honestly, I think everybody should. The positive side effects are endless, and the process itself is relaxing. Its been an absolute game changer both mentally and emotionally; but also physically and spiritually. 

I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE ART OF MINDFULNESS AND MEDITATION.

Sounds fancy. Sounds New Wave. Sounds like the kind of thing practiced by hippies in the 70’s or gate-kept by rich tech moguls with an excess of time on their hands. Or at least, that’s how I felt every time the head sensei of my dojo or my yoga teacher talked about it when I was a kid. It was ‘hippie woowoo’ and way over my head. 

I didn’t have the patience or the attention span for it, and at 11 I couldn’t fathom how on earth thinking about how learning to let go of your thoughts could make you feel present in the moment, or how “letting them go” could really calm my mind or my body. I couldn’t even figure out what ‘letting the thoughts go’ really meant. 

11 year old me was like “If I could do that, I would, trust me. I can’t just turn my brain off” 

Young adult me also tried to dabble in meditation for a brief period of time around the age of 22 at a Tibetan Cultural Center in Phoenix, Arizona. I had slightly better success, but not by much. At that point, I was more receptive to the idea and I was fascinated by the concept, but I could just never get the practice to stick. Partially because habit forming is really hard when you have ADHD it turns out, but mostly because part of the meditation practices I was attending went through a process of acknowledging the body and its sensations as part of the opening. They did this through a process of focusing your attention to each area in turn and really turning your attention to how your body feels. This was at a time when I was really struggling with getting my Fibro Myalgia under control. I had a particular ongoing problem with my legs and I had spent a lot of time trying to teach myself to IGNORE my body and the sensations attached to it to try and keep myself calm, and that part of the process was acutely uncomfortable for me bordering on panic inducing. So I didn’t stick with it. I wish I had. 

FAST FORWARD

I’m about a year into practicing now. And I’ll tell you why it has become one of the biggest tools in my belt. (It EVEN helps me overcome the nerve pain sensations I was struggling so hard to ignore). 

You can do it anywhere. At home. In your cubicle at your desk. In your car at lunch. In the bathroom hiding from your kids. In your kitchen while you cook. Practicing mindfulness and meditation does not mean sitting cross-legged for hours in a dim room in silence. You can if you choose to, but it’s not like you’ve either reached a buddha state of enlightenment or you haven’t. Meditation is a constant practice, and you can practice it to whatever degree is useful to you. It’s not a destination or something you can achieve, but instead you can pull out of your back pocket whenever and use as much as you need to. 

Once you understand the principle of it, anything can be meditative. I do enjoy sitting meditations, but there’s also walking meditations, laying meditations, and interactive meditations. 

What feels like the biggest secret ever kept to me is what mindfulness and mediation actually is. Its not some big fancy right or wrong process full of mojo and specific processes. Stated simply, Mindfulness is the practice of being aware of one’s thoughts, feelings, sensations, and environment in the present moment, without judging or evaluating them.  

Meditation is a tool used to practice mindfulness. It is taking a second to breathe, to center yourself, to observe your surroundings. To acknowledge when you feel overstimulated, or anxious, or tired, or even happy. Mindfulness is the practice of allowing yourself to feel whatever it is that you feel in the present moment and acknowledge the emotion or feeling for what it is without feeling guilty or angry. Sometimes half the emotional spiral is how you feel about your feelings. Mindfulness helps to work through that. It helps create the tiny bit of a barrier that I sometimes need to work through something. It removes me from the feeling just enough to allow me to examine it calmly, and in the privacy of my own thoughts. In some ways, its more about being intentional with your thoughts and actions than being some uber calm zen guru. 

It costs you nothing to practice. And it does take practice. 5 minutes here. 2 minutes there. 45 seconds here. 10 minutes. 20 minutes. The more you practice, the easier it gets. 

I started with focused meditation. I set aside 5 minutes a day to reflect and to go through the process of meditating. It was awkward and I was bad at it and it felt weird. It did. But the more I did it, not only did I get better at it and start seeing the benefits of it but I also began to see different ways I can do it. 

Overwhelmed making dinner because your family is settling in for the night? its loud, people are asking you questions, the kitchen is already a mess and you’re trying to keep track of the things you still need to do tonight while setting up your to-do list for tomorrow to include any of today’s overflow and how to prioritize the most important things on that list? Feel like your heart is going a million miles and hour and it might rupture because you’re not actually a racehorse? Now I can breathe a few times, focus on the crunch of carrots when I chop them, feel the weight of the knife in my hand, smell the rosemary in the pan and remind myself that I am making dinner right now, and that makes dinner the most important thing on my to-do list. And therefore I can focus my attention on the moment and what I’m doing instead of everything I need to do or haven’t done. 

Does it work every time? No. That’s why it is called practicing meditation. But it has greatly bolstered my ability to regulate myself instead of needing somebody else to help me do that. 

Additionally, Meditation has also been show to decrease stress, promote emotional health, lengthen your attention span, reduce age related memory loss, help fight addiction, increase sleep health, control pain, and decrease blood pressure. 

It slowly and gently teaches you to be more aware and more open in the present moment. I do feel less ambiently anxious and less rushed. And when I do still feel overwhelmed, I have something at my fingertips that can take the edge off. 

The practice of being mindful is not a new concept. It has been integrated in the Hindu religion for millennia. The concept of “mindfulness” traces to the Pali words sati, which in the Indian Buddhist tradition implies awareness, attention, or alertness, and vipassana, which means insight cultivated by meditation. It didn’t truly migrate and gain popularity in the United States until the 1960’s with its more medical approach being introduced by John Kabat-Zinn in 1979 when he started his Stress Reduction Center at the University of Massachusetts Medical School. 

The mindfulness movement: How a Buddhist practice evolved into a scientific approach to life

There are a number of different styles of mindfulness and meditation, but the overall concept is the same. The hardest part for me, of beginning to practice and find out more about the mindfulness concept was getting out of my own head, and being unafraid to ask questions and meet new people; something I don’t always excel at. As well as finding information that resonated with me.  

There is SO MUCH information out there which is both a pro and a con. You don’t have to look very far, but the sheer amount of resources can be overwhelming for someone who is unsure where to start.  

If you are interested in starting your own journey, below are some of my favorite resources- from books to do some more learning to audio programs with guided meditations for beginners. I hope that this helps make the journey a little less daunting.  

1. An Invitation to Meditation by Howard Cohn. This is a VERY short easy read. Bordering on Poetry. This really helped me breakdown that feeling of unattainability surrounding meditation. I had the opportunity to meet him at a Meditation event in Phoenix and it was him that sat down with me and answered some questions and helped me work through the struggles of focusing ON my body instead of ignoring it. He gave me the copy of the short book as a gift.  
2. Mindfulness Minutes on the Fitbit Premium App. There are sooooo many different meditation apps out there on the market. I am partial to this one because it syncs with the rest of my fit bit, and I find it fascinating that I can see the correlation between my heart rate and my meditation sessions after the fact. Additionally the library has hundreds of different length and topic meditations for those just figuring it out. anywhere from 20 minute longer sessions to 2 minutes breathing exercising. Cooking meditations, shower meditations, focus meditations. Great for somebody like me who really needs that guided portion because your attention span is shorter than that squirrel from ‘Over the Hedge’. 
3. The waking up app. This one is something my Fiancé uses more than I, but I’ve listened to a lot of them. The bonus to this particular app is it was written and designed by Sam Harris who is a Noted Philosopher, Neuroscientist, & Author. You will notice that his name appears multiple times on this list. This App also includes a number of vintage recordings by Alan Watts, those are worth the membership themselves. The talks are fascinating and I could listen to the man speak for hours.  
4. Waking up by Sam Harris. The book of the same name by Sam Harris is another amazing resource for those of you who prefer to read and be able to make notes in margins, save/ highlight things.  
5. John Kabat-Zinn’s Masterclass on Mindfulness. This was an amazing experience, straight from one of the leading experts themselves. Broken up into small bites sized pieces. He has over 40 years of teaching experience and is basically the father of the Medically applied concept. He is an expert at saying things in simple layman’s terms that are easy to understand and digest.  

If you are just starting your journey, I’d love to hear if any of these help you as much as they do me. If you’ve been practicing for a bit, I’d love it if you’d chime in with any other resources that have been incredibly helpful to you. the art of intentionality and mindfulness has so many applications and uses. If nothing else I think it helps make us more self-aware and as a result, kinder, better people with more compassion for ourselves and others. It can be hard to stay in the moment. It can be hard to find inner peace with everything going on in the larger world and around us. This has helped me find peace in a lot of ways. What would having the ability to flip a switch and find peace do for you? What would that inner calm help you do during your day? 

See you on the journey!  

With love, 

Mikaela